The uneventful life of a ginger

Hey Readers! Hope we are all well! Little bit later than planned but better late then never! So I had my MRI scan on Wednesday just awaiting the results now, but the end of yesterday and today my head has been in pure agony! its like someone has red hot giant knitting needles and is pushing them into the side and top of my head as well as someone squeezing it! I've literally been in bed all day today, it sucks! I am also waiting for my appointment with an Ophthalmologist witch could still be another week or 2! Mentally I feel a lot better! like 99% back! And it feels good! this journey has been confusing, strange and I've never felt lower to be honest and I've lost some very special and important people in my life who I wish would come back and give me another chance and realise who they saw wasn't me and get to understand and know who I really am, that am not a sad sack who cant handle things I actually felt such an attention seeking bitch and that's not who I am, ...

Hello Readers! So its been nearly a week since my last post I might go to weekly to be honest, So a lot has happened since I last posted am almost ready to move back in with the parent's and it is for a reason it's so I can actually save for a mortgage and buy my own house if I didn't while paying rent and stuff ide have no chance so it was my only option really. Mentally I feel about 95% back to my old self their are a few things I need to work on and when I was at my GP I asked help with this so we will see how that goes, I've been very very reluctant to do it or even ask but I guess it's time, I need to do it finally feel 100% in my mind again. On another note, some of you may know some of you wont for a while I get head aches a lot and they have never really bothered me much, but the last few months they have got worse and worse and the last month they are that bad that even pain killers haven't touched it, best way to describe it is like their is a plate in...

  Hello Again Readers! I don't know if this blog will be short or long I may end up just rabbling on. Distractions are a beautiful thing sometimes, when you mind is just re-running and wont let you forget something or someone a distraction can really help! my best distraction can be work! because it keeps my mind focused and active also gaming with friends lately has helped! But sometimes a distraction is not enough when you just cant stop thinking about things and it just plagues and poisons your thoughts currently that's what's happening, overall I am better but there's just one single thing plaguing my currently and no matter what it will not shift. Maybe I should seek professional help? but it is like the last thing I need to get a grip of in my mind. Its the last thing making me actually feel sadness its like a loss. I know I cant be specific and there are only maybe 2 people who truly know but man oh man it sucks, I thought things would...

  Hello again readers! So as the title suggests its time to move onwards & upwards with my mental health and my life, a few loose ends have been dealt with not the outcome ide like but none the less an outcome maybe in time things could change once I find myself again but for now I can finally focus on myself, for once I think I should be selfish and just focus on me and not care what anyone thinks. It probably wont last long but hey hoe, that's life isn't it! I guess the first thing I should actually do is finish my English stuff as that is like the biggest cause of anxiety for me currently and its the last thing I've got to do for my college stuff but I SUCK at it! Other than that though I am actually feeling clear minded like the fog and huge weights been lifted, yes am a little sad at things but at least I can move forward. I know this has been a short post but I actually feel good, my life's back to being plain but at least I've found a new thing I can ...

Hey again! So a quick one I guess, in my mind I feel like am back together their is just one final jigsaw piece missing for me to become completely content with myself again. Only problem is there is nothing I can do about it. Absolutely nothing except just hope time can heal things. Unfortunately I keep beating myself up about this final piece, I keep blaming myself and its the one thing that's dragging me so far down like its unreal how far this is dragging me for it being the final thing it actually hurts so god damn much. there are only 2 people that actually know what it is because I don't actually know how to deal with this or sort this. No matter how much I want to I cant forget it and it just pops into my mind and brings me down. I hope given some time things will heal and fix but who knows. Thanks guys for the nice comment who ever posted it on my last post so appreciated!  Chris