On the diagnosis rollercoaster.

Hey Readers!

Hope we are all well!

Little bit later than planned but better late then never! So I had my MRI scan on Wednesday just awaiting the results now, but the end of yesterday and today my head has been in pure agony! its like someone has red hot giant knitting needles and is pushing them into the side and top of my head as well as someone squeezing it! I've literally been in bed all day today, it sucks! I am also waiting for my appointment with an Ophthalmologist witch could still be another week or 2!

Mentally I feel a lot better! like 99% back! And it feels good! this journey has been confusing, strange and I've never felt lower to be honest and I've lost some very special and important people in my life who I wish would come back and give me another chance and realise who they saw wasn't me and get to understand and know who I really am, that am not a sad sack who cant handle things I actually felt such an attention seeking bitch and that's not who I am, I'm the one people can come to at any time and am always here to listen and help! But I guess only time will tell and answer that wont it. I don't want to say ide beg for another chance but I just want to right the wrongs I've made.

Todays been a pretty chill week at work too, been out the way at the pour station which I like I can chill and its good for my head if am honest out the heat, doing over time tomorrow though driving the crane! Yes they actually trust me to drive cranes haha, only this I have left for my apprenticeship is my English only problem is I can not get past the anxiety of actually doing it like I sit there looking at it and just think there no point am just going to fail this an cant get past that feeling, I don't know how to get past it, It's like a wall a bit like writers block haha.

Things are generally looking up though, if I can right my wrong's with people and once I've finished moving which will be at the end of this month! and then I can get settled and save money I will be onto a winner! also if anyone has any book recommendations as well! that would be greatly appreciated as once I move I wont have a PC for sometime so ill be listening to music and reading ALOT! anything Sci-fi, and mythical, fantasy, adventure!

Thank you for reading! I will keep you guys posted on my health and hospital visits hopefully i get a diagnosis soon!

Chris