Questions... No answers

Hello Again!

So todays blog is going to be a bit short but sweet I guess, all that's been going through my mind today is I want to say stupid but there not to me questions, I'm still pretty content but i just cant stop my self asking the same questions over and over, to do with people I've pushed away.

I don't know if they are reading my blog, at this point I don't care I guess, but I cant stop asking myself what if, why did I do that, why am I so stupid, will they ever forgive me. Its stupid but how can I put it simply... I miss them... They became such an important part of my life in such a short span of time but it still sucks, this is one of those things where I guess only time will tell if time will help heal, if they reach out I will be happy but I have learnt from my drastic mistakes and things will not be repeated. if not then... Well I don't know...

I know I make this blog a lot about myself it sounds kind of selfish but its been a great way of releasing I know I kind of talk cryptically sometimes but its public I don't want to give people names etc out, I am thankful for the friends I have and the people I know, I wish I could say sorry to the people I've lost I care so much about and it not just be words. there is a lot I've realised and mistakes I've learned from maybe too late hopefully not, I just need that chance to prove myself I guess. until then I will be asking my self the same questions over and over, so far I've not let it eat me up inside. if I don't get the chance I hope they fade away into nothing. only time will tell.

A bit of a meh blog post for a meh kind of day I guess.

Chris