Friends are the key...

Hello again!

So I am late with now yesterdays blog but better late than never!

So today while chilling with the best friends I came the realisation that I am so grateful for the friends I have. In my recent issues with my mental health my best friends have been my rocks! and not only them but the my other friends as well, I though I had no one to turn to but as it turned out I have more than I thought! And its honestly been amazing!

I am what you would call a people pleaser... I will literally put others needs before my own and I always will, mainly because I don't really have anything to stress over I guess so I can quite easily handle what ever problems anyone wants to talk about, rant, cry about I will always be there for them and try my best to help! and I never ask for anything in return.

With recent events where I have bottled a lot of stress and anxiety and problems its been me! Who's needed that shoulder to just talk to, which is very strange normally I can handle problems easily and get past but lately that's not been the case, as of writing this I can honestly say that there is still a lot running through this ginger little mind of mine, things that unfortunately will never be resolved which does hurt but I caused this myself and I will get through it! Onwards & Upwards!.

To the friends that have been there and put up with me thank you. its actually meant a lot to me but on the other side of that there have unfortunately been the people I thought I could turn to in my rare time of need and unfortunately due to my own poor choices have pushed people away i suppose if they cant handle me and be there for me in one of my very rare low moments they don't deserve me at my best? I don't know if that's just me being selfish?

But I will always forgive and still be there for them its just who I am. I hope in time they can forgive my selfishness of needing them even if it was maybe the wrong time, but i didn't know this was going to happen so there never really is a wrong and a right time to need help, you never know when your going to get so low you just need to escape reality and drive you your happy place, side not i will have to maybe write a post about my happy place.

My close friends and they know who they are and some I didn't know I could be so close with have been absolutely amazing though and I will always be grateful and will always be here with open arms! I owe you a lot! to the others I pushed away if your reading this... I will always be there anyway! This who I have been lately isn't the real me and I just ask for another chance

Once again thank you for taking the time to read these posts, sorry this one was a bit of a long one!

Chris