A Broken Mind.

Hello again!

So where do i start today. I suppose having a currently broken mind is strange, i struggle to concentrate on things currently, even gaming, the only 2 things distracting me currently are going on long walks and work. Keeping busy at work has been key.

I hope to go on a walk somewhere on my 4 days off, i currently do not know how to fix my mind. I keep thinking about so much. But its all random useless shit. The only thing that constantly pops up is one person. Mainly because i know what I've done and the unrepairable damaged I've done being selfish. And only thinking of myself and what's best for me, honestly this is out of character for me as i am a people pleaser i want others to be happy over my own happiness no matter the cost. But this time I've screwed up being the opposite, yes i am sad about it, yes i will miss them but maybe its for the best maybe while my mind is in this fragile state it might be what's for the best, hopefully in time things will improve.

I have so much to say and explain but i don't know how to say it. Its frustrating sometime i feel am never going to be able to express these thoughts and there just going to be locked up inside. Maybe they will just fade away into nothing. How long that will be? Who knows... not even i know.

Strangely writing these blog posts i thought i would lose interest but actually been somewhat enjoying it. Its like a release for me. I think am slowly getting there but the damage is done i don't think there's any going back on somethings.

Sorry for a bit of down and sad post today, it wasn't what i planned to write about but this is what came out.

Any comments and fees back would be massively helpful too!

Chris